Hello friends! How are you? As promised I’m posting a blog this week, my first (with the exception of a few “Books of My Life” posts) since early January and I’m feeling a bit awkward. Strangely, I’m at a loss for words. I have so much to share, perhaps too much, perhaps stuff you could care less about, and I’m experiencing a bit of stage fright. Where do I begin? I find myself with little time these days to craft anything with structure, so if you’ll indulge me, this is going to be a random Hodge podge of updates and observations (with minimal editing, I’m sorry)
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I got a job, a real one, working in an office. It has been quite an adjustment. A strange series of events led to this. Last fall I was painting some furniture, which was a hobby that had generated some nice mad money for me (even more than writing, sadly). I’d begun to plan our annual summer road trip and factored the costs into my budget spreadsheet and was gooblesmacked to discover Momma was in the red. There are a number of reasons for this, but I won’t bore you with them (and who knows, it may be a travel planning post one day). Suffice it to say, it was clear that if I wanted to embark on our trip, I was going to have to make some more money.
I’m an accountant by trade – college educated and certified. It was never a great passion, but I chose that path in part because I knew I’d always be able to find a job. I wanted that security. Since leaving my original career path for being a stay-at-home mom, I’ve worked a few part-time jobs (from home), doing accounting and attestation work. So I put the word out that I was looking. A friend of mine connected me with her friend, who owns a company that places moms with clients who need help with accounting, marketing, or business writing. It was perfect, because I’d be able to set my own hours and work from home (and ideally, still be able to write). It was just what I needed.
The holiday season tripped me up a bit, but in January I got a call. I was a bit surprised, because the client wanted a lot more hours than I’d anticipated and they wanted me to work on-site. I started to have second thoughts, because I really didn’t want to have to “go to” work each day. I’ve been at home with the kids for fifteen years, and logistically I didn’t even know how (if) I could do it.
The client was in a hurry and I thought about it for a day and for some wild and crazy reason – I went for it.
It’s been five weeks and it’s been a whirlwind. My life is in complete disarray and I’m hot mess. Picture all the movies that feature a working mom running around, forgetting to pick up her children, and rushing out the door with papers flying out of her tote bag. That’s me.
The first couple of weeks were really, really tough. I came home with a headache every night and a knot in my left shoulder that hadn’t been there in, well, fifteen years. I would drop my bags and walk past my clamoring children, enroute to the bar for my wine. Every night. Not kidding, not proud, not gonna lie – it was needed!
Sometime in the third week, I found my groove. Confidence, a feeling I’d not experienced in quite a long time, sparked something in me. I started feeling like a different person.
I feel smart again. Needed. A little exhilarated. Tired, but not necessarily in a bad way. I’m calmer at home. I’m focused on work at work, and on my family at home. I’m more relaxed. This all sometimes makes me feel like “superwoman” – NOT to be confused with perfectwomen – not at all my friends! More like everywoman, we do what we gotta do. Don’t we?
Which got me to thinking….
Oh shit. I’m supposed to HATE accounting. How many times have I put that in writing? I’m too fragged to link up one of a dozen posts I’ve written attesting to that. And this has me revisiting my Skinny Dip Society journey. And that my friends is a whole lot of aha moments – and I don’t have it in me to explore them at the present time.
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I miss you all. Very much. I miss writing. I do. But, I don’t miss the chasing-the-numbers game. And I don’t miss social media one flipping bit.
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My guy has been amazing – and the first week he was a hoot. Dude had no idea how much I really did do, being at home. Funny stories to share on that front – hilarious. Swear to God, if I write nothing else – this one, I will. Some day soon. Chuckle, chuckle.
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The kids are doing really well. We’re in the throes of track season and of course, the timing couldn’t be worse. Oh, and Audrey is in her school’s musical and there’s like fifteen rehearsals a week. And Cammy just earned his “advanced” yellow belt. My brain is like jellyfish (where am I going with that reference????) when I look at my calendar and try to navigate all the places I’m supposed to be. Seriously – Amy and Kathy if you are reading this, thank you for saving my ass by getting my children where they need to be. I love to watch the track meets, even if I kind of hate these kids – with their fit bodies blazing past me. I feel like my body is also a jellyfish. How do working moms find time to work out? Seriously. Tips, please! I’m begging you.
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And speaking of “working moms.” This is not a SAHM vs working mom thing – I promise. I have worked for fifteen years, but I did have a modicum of control over my schedule. Kind of, but of course not really. But now – the train is off the rails! To all you moms who have had to seriously do it all – I’ve always admired you, but now, I am in complete awe of you. How in the world do you do it????????? Seriously.
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I’m done. I think I may be off the rails. So, I will conclude with just a few pics of the last two months.
The family kicked off the year with a mini road trip, to see (again) the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte – this was for Hunter.
Barrett – just being gorgeous (I really enjoy dressing him up). Lots of new clothes for Christmas. I’m here to tell you on March 17th! – he’s grown out of them all!
Audrey being Aud – flexible (NOT).
President’s Day weekend we did a North GA mini-road trip. This photo was taken in Helen, GA. Ice-cream on a very chilly day!
Me, stupid-tired, soft-focused selfie, one night before work, wondering what in the Hell I was doing…
Hunter, headed off to his first high school track meet.
And running in his first high school track meet.
Aud’s last (weep) Father-Daughter dance. She got very emotional about it, heart-breaker for Daddy.
Aud & Hunter running with Barrett on Sunday, getting ready for his big day.
Bear running in his first track meet of the season (more later:))
I’ve seen many sunrises the last few weeks – dropping the boys off for their pre-school practices (groan).
Spring has arrived in Georgia!
Cammy earning his gold belt (with the black stripe – very important).
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Oh, one more thing – April is Autism Awareness – and I plan to contribute in any and all ways I can. I’m looking for “Autism Angels!” I have one I’m writing about, but need more (I’d like to feature four in April). You can guest post or you can nominate someone and I’ll send you interview questions. For past examples, please click here.
That’s it…have to go to bed, big day tomorrow. Work and I’m chaperoning Barrett’s class on a field trip (a play and lunch) and my in-laws are arriving for the weekend to celebrate R’s mother’s 70th birthday!!!!!
This is inspired by my girl Kristi and this weeks FTSF Link up. I forget the sentence – I suck, but it’s something about being a superwoman. I am not. Please read her post – I am sure it rocks! And her co-host, Vidya.
How are you????? Please, tell me!
You so ARE superwoman, Allie. YOU SO ARE. I love your blurred selfie. And Bear’s track. And OMG Audry, I want to DO THAT FLEX IN A CHAIR (well I’d be scared to now of course).
Also green with black stripe??? Tucker just got yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do. I think the belts are different but green with black?? HUGE!!!
I’m glad that Rich is seeing how much you’ve done. It’s a freaking lot. Like superwoman lot, you know. LOVE LOVE you and please let’s catch up soon?
Even when I was Audrey’s age, I wasn’t that flexible. I don’t know how she does it! We do have to catch up. I will try you on Tuesday, I promise. Hope all is well!
I am just looking at you in awe, Allie! That’s all. You just proved Superwomen exist and you lead ’em all! Your family is awesome. All the best in all that you do – and may all your vacation dreams come true! Stay blessed! Hugs!
Thanks Vidya – I love your comment: “May all your vacation dreams come true.”
I disagree, you totally are a a superwoman and a true hero to me as I am not sure now that I could go back to work in an office setting or out of the home. It has truly been forever for me (at least it feels that way). But still I give you tons of credit and hats off to you for doing it and making it work for you all. Hugs and just so glad to see a bit of an update here for you as I have missed you so much on your blog <3
Thank you Janine. I regret the Superwoman twist right now – I do. I think all moms are superwomen – I was really just trying to squeeze my update into this week’s FTSF. I’ve missed you too! IT’s so weird to not be in daily contact with my blogging buddies.
Wow. I love the update! I can’t imagine going to work every day but Des is still only three, so it might be possible for me soon.
You ARE a Superwoman.
Thanks Tamara. I couldn’t imagine it either (especially with a 3 year-old!), and who know how long it’ll last. It’s still not sunken in for me yet.
Wow, so much change! A transition like this is always jarring and a bit disruptive on your everyday life (and sanity), but I’m happy to hear that you are enjoying this new component in your life and re-connecting with the professional self that maybe you missed more than you thought! It sounds like you are doing awesome! It’s interesting for me to read your post because I feel like I could be waving to you from the other side of the road traveling in the opposite direction as I seriously consider stepping away from work to focus more on home and family. We are all on a journey, right?! Best of luck with your continued transition. Look forward to hearing more about it!
So disruptive, it’s surreal. Still feels like a crazy dream. And I will never regret being home for all the time I was – best years of my life.
Wow, Allie, that is quite an update! Whew! You sound busy and happy and(despite your tiredness) full of energy. I have just made the choice to leave the workforce outside the home and come home to work! Circle of life, eh? I wish you the absolute best.
More karate kids! My Zilla just got her blue belt this evening and we’re so proud. We haven’t yet started father-daughter dances, but I can tell you now that my husband will be a marshmallow.
Good luck with everything – enjoy your work!
I’m starting to panic because I believe you are the third commenter to write that they are stepping back/or out of the professional world. I never thought I’d go back, it just all happened so quickly. I hope it’s the right thing for my family. And karate has been amazing for Cammy. I love it.
No no no! Don’t panic and second guess, Allie. Only do what you believe in your heart is right for you and your family. Go with your gut – you seem happy about it and I think that says a lot. The nervousness and excitement? That’s all part of it! Things that don’t scare us probably aren’t much worth pursuing, you know? I’ve spent a whole lot of time the last 18 months being scared and worried and wondering if I made a mistake by quitting my job and trying to forge a life from home. Days when the money’s tight are especially tough. But when it’s just me and myself and God, I know this was right and it will all fall into place.
You have so much great stuff ahead! Keep us posted!
I think your hodge-podge is beautiful, and the super-est thing of all is that you’ve managed to keep everything going, as a whole family. Your fella’s got your back, your kids and friends are pitching in and everyone’s learning a new routine and working around each other. I’m sure there have been messes and mishaps you haven’t written, but looking at the photos and the SMILES and the togetherness, you’re one of the ones who’s DOING IT – you’ve got the priorities right, and it doesn’t matter too much if a little bit of something slides off the edge here and there – the central thing – your family – is all together and all FOR one another, and all moving forwards in your togetherness as well as your individual ways.
Wonderful post and I’m glad you wrote it. I hope the stage-fright is all gone now 🙂
Thanks Lizzie. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment. And the stage fright is lifting, with help from all my blogging friends and they’re supportive comments. Thank you, thank you!
I’ve seen bits and pieces of you somewhere – facebook? I definitely saw the track picture. I’m fine. Jealous of you getting to feel smart again but not jealous of what the whole package must feel like. Congrats on everything. I am glad you’re sorta getting in your groove. Can’t wait to read the funny of what you MIA means to the kids.
Yes, the whole package is a bit complicated. Honestly, my brain has been too discombobulated to full digest how complicated. Crazy, isn’t it? And thanks to YOUR comment, this week’s post will be about the funny story. Thank you.
Definitely superwoman. I’m right there alongside you. xox
Yes you are! One of my role models. Thank you!
Wow a job in a real office? Sounds fun believe it or not! Must be such a change but sometimes change is good right? I like your random thoughts, so nice to catch up!
And I HEAR YOU! I’ve been blogging less and not worrying about stats and social media. It’s BLISS!
It’s kind of insane. Dressing for work and packing my lunch. Too funny. And yes, the respite for stats is heaven!
Congrats. I hope you are proud of yourself. You have taken on a lot. Someone once told me that we need to reinvent ourselves as it best fits our life. I’m not sure I think we totally “re-invent” ourselves, we just tweak our lives to hit our goals. Sounds like you are making things work…and trying to find happiness with it all,too. Best of luck.
Thanks Caryn, I am proud of myself. And that feels pretty good. And I agree, it’s more of a “tweak” than a reinvention – because I’m still trying (after all theses years!), to figure out what I want to do with me life.
Allie! I’ve missed you, and I’m sorry it’s taken me awhile to get to this post. But I’m so glad to catch up with all that’s been happening in your life. I found it particularly interesting to read that it took you three weeks to get into a groove. That’s good to know, because I will go back to work in the next few years, and I will be a hot mess too. Giving yourself time to adjust – I have to remember that. Or I’ll just email you!
I’m a bit envious of you – I can’t go back to my old career (you were smart to choose accounting!) I’m also proud of you for taking a leap and doing something new – you’re an inspiration.
I’ve missed you too Dana! And no apologies necessary. It takes me forever to get to posts now – but I do. Yes, time to adjust is very important. If I didn’t take the time to breathe (and honestly have R encouraging me daily) I would have quit on the third day!
Oh wow, this is so inspiring. I’ve been home for 15 years, too, but something is calling me outward. I’m trying to figure it out. You did it! You found a thing! That’s so wonderful and so difficult to do having such a gap, at least for me it’s been. Good for you. Life is nuts isn’t it? But look at all that joy in those photos!
Life is indeed nuts. I’m not sure, 100%, that it’s my thing – but for some reason I’m pretty good at it. And I guess I have to listen to the Universe, every once in a while. I just wish the Universe was saying: “Here’s your book contract!” Ha!
Lovely family.
Love family vacations. Hope, after all this hard work you’re now putting in, you and your lovely fam can enjoy a great summer road trip together.
Thank you Kerry! These thoughts are the ones that keep me going!
The kids of grown so much! Can’t wait to see you all in a few weeks!
Uncle Mark
So much. I’ve had to buy ALLL four new shorts and swimsuits. They were busting out of all their spring-time clothes.
With my youngest about to graduate, I’ve been thinking about getting a job outside the home – ack! It definitely takes a superwoman to keep everything running smoothly. You have a lovely family!
Well CRAP. How the hell did I miss this? UGH! I’m sooo mad I missed this, Allie!! And I’m so sorry I did too…
LOOK AT YOU!! You are amazing. I loved every bit of this catch up post and *now* I finally get it all. I’m so so happy you have adjusted and feel SO good about this, my friend.
I don’t think I would miss the same things you don’t miss… And btw- you are incredibly smart. I always knew that,but I never knew you were “accountant smart”! LOL That’s like a whole ‘nother level of smart! 🙂
I miss you, friend. I’m so proud of those courageous steps you took in this new job and I could’t be more happy for you!
You’ve probably been busy momma! And I’ve missed you, too. Thank you as always for being such a good friend.