“If youth only knew, if age only could.” – Henry Estienne

When I was young, living under my parent’s roof and abiding (for the most part) by their rules – I used to fantasized about what life would be like when I grew up.  Who didn’t?  But, as I’m sure is the case for most people, my childhood musings about adulthood were quite different from its reality.

Believe it or not, I wasn’t necessarily planning to have children.  I assumed I’d have a child, someday in the way distant future, but I certainly couldn’t “picture” it.    Seriously.  I baby-sat for one family when I was an eighth grader, and that pretty much snuffed out any motherly yearnings I had.  After a few hotel nanny gigs in college, the flame of motherhood flickered out once again.  Today I have four children and for a long time, I was perpetually on a quest for just one more.

I grew up in small beach town, so I dreamed of a life in a big city.  I was certain that I’d live in a high rise apartment.  I remember once walking on the beach in Fort Lauderdale with my friend Barbara, when I was visiting her on vacation, and she pointed to one of the tall condominiums that lined the coast.  She commented that I’d probably live there one day and I readily agreed.  I did eventually live in the cities of Fort Lauderdale, New Orleans, San Juan, Baltimore and Atlanta, but never in a high rise.  Today I technically live in a suburb of a city, but it’s far enough out that it really feels like the country to me.  We’re nestled among the trees, surrounded by neighborhood horses and far away from traffic and smog.  I love it.  Never in a million years did I think this would be my Shangri-La. Continue reading Once Upon a Time: My Visions of the Future →